MY<DSMBR

[xoder]

This is my December
This is my snow-covered tree
This is me pretending
This is all I need

Linkin Park - MY<DSMBR

So, yeah. Went to the dermatologist. He injected me with stuff. So many needles into one small spot on my head made me very nearly pass out.

So its official, the mountains trip starts on Sunday. Ergo, I get one more day of pay than I was expecting. Also, I get one more day to work on the room. In theory.

www.youdamnkid.com >-- very addictive.

I skipped the staff party. Why? Many reasons. First, I was tired and ill feeling. Still not feeling too great, but whatever. Second, it sounded like the only activity was going to be drinking. And we all know how I feel about drunk people around me (they were considering having me as the "Designated Lifeguard" so they could swim, until they heard that Sal never allowed swimming at the staff parties). I mean, I never really connected fully with any of them. They all are so much... I guess the word is worldly than I. But then again, some of the things that they've found in this world, I don't neccesarily want or have. Like Roxie. She's never satisfied with any guy she finds for any longer than 3 wks. (That I couldn't have, nor would I want.)

And I'd give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to

ibid.

And at some point, I should start work on my Reporter assignment.

12-3 at work tomorrow. Must use time wisely.

So tired/hot/icky/dissapointed in my inhumanity. I don't want what others want, or at least not in the ways they do. And even if I do want it, I don't want anything enough to compromise my insane and inhuman principles to get it. Life is full of comprimises, and I state my ultimatum, but allow the other's ultimatum to stand, rather than mine. Fuck.

Too fucking hot

PETER

Comments

'worldliness'

[rmeinhart.livejournal.com]

This is my take. 'Worldliness' is not about seeing the world.

The important part about travelling and seeing the world, is not, necessarily about seeing the famous places, structures, or even about seeing the art and history (gasp! can you believe I said that?!) Rather, its about the people you encounter. Its so important to see and interact with as many different people from as many different backgrounds as you possibly can over the course of a lifetime because the stories,lessons, enlightenments, and spirits of these people are what makes life full and vbrant.

I've been lucky and been forced to travel and I've had the oppertunity to see some amazing things. However--- I learned about the Holocaust by not so much visiting the Dachau concentration camp as by interacting and observing Jewish decendants who were visiting as well. I learned about some of the personal affects of war not from experiencing the bomb raids and post security overseas during Desert Storm, but rather, from getting to know some of the pilots being sent off, and more touchingly, their families. I learned about peace and humanity not from seeing any landmark or structure or piece of artwork, but rather from staying with Iraqui nuns for a short period of time directly following Desert Storm. It's not about where you are, its about who you're with.

Being that you live in the cultural metropolis that you do and with how many hundreds of thousands of people around you who are from all diferent countries and cultures and backgrounds as you--I dont think you have anything to worry about when it comes to exposures to the world. You have so much at your fingertips.

"Life is full of comprimises, and I state my ultimatum, but allow the other's ultimatum to stand, rather than mine. "

I wish I knew more about compromise. I've pushed important people(person) away from me because of my inability to do so. So maybe you know something that I dont know in that department. Compromise is so important to human relationships. I wasnt always as stubborn as I currently am,however, and I will say this to you about your quote: you've got to be strong for yourself. you need other people and you need to lean on them, but you need to be strong for yourself and do right by yourself first. a very good friend said that to me once and it kinda stuck with me. when i had trouble putting myself first and spoke to her about the things I was struggling with she said, 'i never said it would be easy. i only said it would be worth it.' I know that sounds vague, but I also t hink you'll know what I mean.

We should talk when we get back to school, Peter. You know how to find me.