xoder | Entries tagged with braindump

Last night I noticed some kids hanging out on my stoop. My parents are away and my brothers were having a party at the time, so I checked with my brothers to ensure the loiterers were not theirs. They weren't, so I asked them to please get off my stoop. This one kid said no, he wouldn't, he and his friends lost something and anyways they were only going to be a few seconds. Oh, and he also swore at me. I asked him if he had already looked for it, and he said he had, so I repeated the request. He said he wouldn't, after all, what would I do, call the cops? The cops know him, he said, and they'd just laugh. He then said that he'd likely been in the neighborhood longer than I had, even though he was half my age and called me a yuppie.

This is about where I truly lost control of the conversation. I told him I grew up in the neighborhood. Never saw me, he said. Probably because I have a job and a life. This went on for a while until one of my brothers came out and also asked them to leave. The kid then said that if I wasn't going to call the cops, then he'd just have to fight me right there on the street.

Eventually, one of my brothers' friends came out, knew the kid through his sister (they are much more integrated into the locals than my family and I are) and gave him $10 for his lost property, and he went on his merry way.

The lost property? A dime bag, of course. They wanted to smoke up on my stoop. Which would open my parents' property up to search and seizure in case a police officer wanted to make a case of it. Which would have been bad for my dear brothers' party, no?

I just felt so helpless and useless. I hope tonight goes better.

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Location: 11231

I had an excellent time working the Green Room with

erin_trying,

rosefox,

sinboy,

glib_dichotomy,

malaul, and Randee [edit:

kitteridge, and anyone else I missed [edit:

deyo, and

mactavish, for example]. I didn't get to spend much time out and about in the con, but it all worked out. Got some tasties from Dealer's Row, and got significant driving experience—at night and in (light) snow on the way home, even!

Big loud drinking/dancing parties hold no interest for me, and I must remind myself that this is not a character flaw, and it does not mean that I will never meet anyone interesting, and it does not mean that I should force myself to go. It does mean that the "inflationary" portion of my friend-gathering life is likely over, however, as I don't have the forced social environment like High School anymore. [By "inflationary", I am referring to the cosmological concept of inflation, which is when the young universe expanded extraordinarily fast before slowing down to where we are now.] I'm OK with that. It also means that I will likely have a bad time at any party like that. And I already know that I will have a bad time at any party I'm too sleepy at.

Reading the above, I wonder if I'm becoming an introvert lately. I've always loved casual contact with people (i.e., living in the city, making small talk), but I just cannot deal with loud, crowded, hot, dark parties. They do not move me in the slightest, and I find them uncomfortable. Much the same thing with bars, although, in addition, they seem pointless.

Bah, after writing such things, I feel like such a stick-in-the-mud and/or old man. Also, boring.

Current Mood: cold
Current Location: 07014
Current Music: Phish - Wading in the Velvet Sea

If I'm out, I should leave by 930p.
At home, I should re-institute the 10p sleepy alarm.

Should I do these on weekends, too? How badly will this kill my anemic social life? Is there any other way to deal with the new 540a wake up?

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: 07014

Thanks,

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: 07014
Current Music: Barenaked Ladies - Easy [Acoustic]

Found this in Secaucus Junction. But I'm pretty sure that it wasn't the reason that it smelled funny. (It always does.)

Erin & I are getting a couch from HomeReserve.com. Will update later on actual quality. It looks like it will look & feel nice though. It and an A/C will make it much easier for us to hold gatherings all year round. Home Despot seems to have the best prices there.

Looks like one of the vacant lots near us is finally getting ready to be developed. When it is, I predict rising rents for the whole neighborhood.

Today is the second day of my new sleep alarm + melatonnin system. I'm not perfectly awake, but I'm much better off than I've been.

Oh, and work has rewarded some of the people on my project with July 3 off for all of the time we've put in. I'm one of those people. It's rather nice.

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: NYC Subway

This is a silly photo Pat took of me several months ago. I'm a hardcore Sith Lord, or something.

Yesterday, my alarm didn't wake me, which I always take as a message that I'm too sick to go to work. Erin and I got a lot of work done, anyway. We renewed our lease, got her a new camera, and got some needed housewares. Oh, and did a ton of laundry. I also sorted through 3 boxes, filtering them down to 1.5. I've had a better record than that, but these boxes had newer stuff that I am more likely to need. Oh, I forgot, we also picked up the Mika DVD, which is excellent. I hope he comes back to NYC soon, so we can go see him.

Experiment: you should take a photo and send it to me. Either directly by MMS, or by emailing it to my full # (w/ the 1) @tmomail.net. If it's cool, I'll post it and talk about it.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Location: NYC Subways

Time Budget (approx.)

Sleeping: 49 hrs/wk (generous)
Commuting: 17.5 hrs/wk (conservative)
Working: 48 hrs/wk
Lunch break @ work: 6 hrs/wk
TKD: 6 hrs/wk
School: 5 hrs/wk
Total accounted hours used per week: 131.5

For reference, there are 168 hours in a week. Therefore, I have 36.5 unaccounted hours—a little over 5 per day (although most of those hours are on Saturday and Sunday, where my only time constraints are TKD and work, respectively [and, of course commuting])—perhaps

shoujo_mallet has something when she worries about my work/life balance.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Location: 07014
Current Music: S.J. Tucker - Firebird's Child

I think that I've been having a failure to post lately for a few reasons. A major one is that work is keeping me busy and keeping me away from computers (unlike the kind of busy that college kept me).

So let me tell you what I've been up to lately. At work I've been running a lot of tests on my new test bed. It's cute but fancy. I can give you some details in person, but I doubt any of you care what a "Linker" does and why it's cool I have one, even with so few radios. [PS, CS geeks, it's not the kind of linker you think it is.]

After work I have one of two things: Tae Kwon Do, or school. TKD has been good, mostly, although lately I had a crisis of confidence after a string of three practices with major flubs (completely forgot my form, kicked someone in the head, and something else, although I don't remember what that incident was). I worked through that, and ended up covering most of a Fordham class for Pat without a single flub, except for my usual speedy pace. School is good. I've just finished my fourth and fifth classes in a ten-course Masters, and it's only taken me a year to get this far. A two-year part-time no-charge-to-me Masters would be delicious. Let's hope I can keep up this pace.

This entire week I have off (support your local union), so, aside from the xmas extravaganza (Erin's extended family, followed by my extended family, followed by mass with Erin's immediate family, followed by sleep, and presents with each of our families), all I've had is TKD practice with

angst_pirate. It's been lovely, but I still cannot seem to wake up not sore, and a little tired. I do believe it's largely the bed, but I'm worried that some of it may be linked to the new snoring that Erin's been hearing, so perhaps sleep apnea, which is scary shit.

My back's been very stiff the past few days, but it has been improving. Just gotta keep flushing my system with NSAIDs, keep my range of motion, and minimize impact.

Anyone have any particular beds they recommend? I'm thinking of possibly upgrading to a King.

Time to run! Have the fun.

PS: This entry brought to you by my lovely wireless USB keyboard and my good old Wii.

Current Mood: chipper

I would like to thank the following for showing up to my birthday gathering this weekend (in no particular order):

queenbast, her Gabe¹,

faboo,

malaul, their son Liam,

ellf, his Lauren,

ladyravn,

jcholewa, Alex, Kitri,

shoujo_mallet,

faery_kat, her Isaiah, Laura,

last_soldier,

stoneliongrowl,

catmandux, Montgomery, Jeff,

angst_pirate, and

quem98. Also, special thanks to my sous-chefs

stoneliongrowl, Alex, and Kitri. And an extra special one to the last two in that list for showing up early and helping with cooking and soda buying. And finally ultra thanks to

shoujo_mallet for being her wonderful self and providing what I couldn't to the party: cleavage and beer.

I promised shoutouts and they have now been delivered! You'll also be tagged on Facebook when it picks this up as a note.

It appears all had a good time, which was the goal. There was cake, so I know I'd call it a successful party. I enjoyed cooking, and still felt that I could abandon the grill to make quick little social stops without getting overwhelmed by either side of the equation. The only thing I could have used more of would have been snuggles, but then again, that's always the case ;-).

Sunday was a little stressful with the removal and cleaning of things from my parents' house, but y'all were well-behaved, so nothing broken, nothing stained. Had various transportation horrors on the way home, and again from my place to the Ren Faire up at the Cloisters, tossing me straight into badmoodsville.

Now I am running on low sleep and have tons of leftovers in the fridge. Yum!

How was your weekend?

¹ Normally I'd be against the possessive form here, but it's simpler, especially when I do not know people's LJ names. If it offends you, then ignore it ;-)

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Phish - David Bowie

So I was reading this Digg post about Ahmadinejad saying that there are no homosexuals in Iran. There was the predictable "Check the closets" line, and some rumblings about Tom Cruise and mass murder. Of note, however, was the following exchange^*:

In America - we just ignore their rights
Jesus, you're dense. America ignores gay rights? We have hate crime laws that apply to gay people. We have a huge gay population which vehemently lobbies and pushes for gay rights. We have gay people on tv, in the movies, everywhere and they aren't being oppressed. Just because they can't "legally" be married doesn't mean their rights are ignored. I'd be willing to be that any gay person in Iran would happily trade places, with any gay American. If you really think it's bad here, go to Iran and see what it's like to have no rights based on sexual preference.

You people will say/state anything that takes a jab at America yet we have it so good, regardless of what you think. If you think I'm wrong then why does everyone want to come here? As cliche as it sounds this is the land of freedom, in all forms, and also the land of opportunity. Go open a gay support group (non-profit) in Iran and tell me what happens. They'll probably just kill you, but at least you'd be free of American oppression....your comment and those who digg you up is proof that most Americans have no appreciation or idea on how good they have it. Well, some of us do and we don't take it for granted.
YEAH. FUCKING. RIGHT.

I work in a corporation. I am white, hetero, and single. I have no special interest group that gives a shit about me. There's a gay/lesbian group, african american group, latino, etc.

Along with the aforementioned hate crime legislature, it seems minorities, including gays, have grabbed special rights, not equal rights. Granted I am not as likely to be effed-in-the-a by a cop, I am more likely to be should I end up in court.

THANK YOU, POLITICALLY CORRECT AMERICA!
Oh yeah, you poor dear. My heart bleeds for the rich white men; there is no justice for them. Why don't you go arrange a straight white man pride parade? Oh yeah- you don't have to because you have everything already.

I think the last poster in the thread misses the penultimate poster's complaint entirely. He says "I have no special interest group that gives a shit about me." The reply is "you have everything" so why should you? The key difference here is the penultimate poster wanted a group, while the last poster wants things/rights/justice. Maybe I'm completely off-base here, but I often envy my GBLT friends for their ability to draw a community out of [what appears to me to be] thin air [but is likely out of shared repression &c.].

The penultimate poster also mentions all of this second to "I work in a corporation." The irony there is, he does have a group of people like him working toward a common goal, but this goal is not community, not rights, not justice, but money—which our dear poster will never see his proportional share of. If he works extra hard he might get a promotion, but he'll more likely just get his slightly-lower-than inflation "merit" raise. If he even has a track for promotion, his most likely community, his co-workers, are in direct competition with him for those precious few seats at the top, and will not be there for him as a community.

Perhaps I am very much the poor little rich boy that the last poster mocks, but I can understand the penultimate poster's issue, and I'm afraid I don't have much of a solution out of it. Personally, I ape at the Queer community through my Bi girlfriend and Poly lifestyle, and while I enjoy friends through Tae Kwon Do, often I feel a certain disconnect from them. Often the only thing I have in common with them is the Art, which is fine and all, but I like a certain level of social discourse and connection.

Of course, in the end, we are all alone in our trip through life, and perhaps all this striving towards community is false and silly and temporary. But if it has to be false and silly and temporary, I at least want to get some good hugs out of it.

^* I nested two comments where I believed they went as I believe they were unintentionally posted unnested thanks to what many Diggers complain of as "The New Comment System". Also, I'm lazy and deleted their usernames.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Phish - Run Like an Antelope

A post by

benjasattva and subsequent conversations with Erin about its subject matter. Sorry, his post is friends-locked, so I cannot link you over.

It appears to me that there are people who can detach themselves from their social interactions and gauge how things are going and what they could do to affect it in a reasonably objective manner. That is, they seem to have a meter on the inside of their head that tells them whether they're making any forward progress (in romantic or platonic directions), and what a good course of conversation/reaction/&c. would be.

I am not one of those people. Generally all my planning ends once I actually start talking with a person, and even then, it's minimal: "What would be the least annoying/disquieting way to get this person's attention?" "Are they likely to be in their current conversation for too much longer?" "Are they single and/or attracted to my gender [if they are female and I'm interested, of course]?"
Once in the conversation, I run entirely on autopilot. Whether I bring things up is based solely on their relevance to the topic at hand and whether there's a "slot" available for me (Oh goodness, I just used TDMA terminology...). While I have a rough idea of when I'm making someone uncomfortable, I can't really assess my current status in their worldview until long after the conversation is over and I've had the ability to observe their reactions to me and compare them to their reactions to others, and where I judge them in that person's hierarchy.

This, of course, does not hold via IM (but can during email).

Which side of this social divide do you sit? Is it possible to jump to the aware side without losing the apparent spontaneous character? Am I the only one like this? (Of course not!)

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: werk
Current Music: OPM - El Capitan

It's quite a dramatic difference on a Sunday night vs. Saturday. Most stores are closed, but all the cafés are open.

shoujo_mallet says it is because of Germany's strict opening laws. I'm just kind of annoyed I can't pick up a liter of the delicious apple soda they have here.

It was very strange dropping Erin off at her dorm. Very much wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. I lugged her bags up to the 3rd floor, she kissed me, and off I went. I know she'll have a great time here. I guess I feel sorry now for my parents when they dropped me off at RIT. Sudden release and—I suppose—relief. The latter because I've accomplished my one obligation to someone else here: Get Erin to her dorm on time, in one piece, and with all her luggage. Now all I have to do is figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow on my own until we can meet for dinner or something.

Today we went to The Schloss which was really nifty. We got to ride the Funincular railway up to it. The tour was excellent. Yesterday we walked along Philosopherweg which was really pretty.

I've gotta go: public terminal and all.

Love &c.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: Heidelberg, Germany

I was at various things, most of which I've forgotten, but it ended at a party.

faboo was there, along with a host of Bronx Science folk, but it was mostly people I don't know. I do remember getting separated from faboo thanks to someone talking to me, so I eventually had to go look for him. He was outside in some kind of courtyard/patio thing. I remember the inside of the apartment was spare, with white walls and hardwood floors. faboo was discussing philosophy with someone, but both were a little impaired, so the discussion was rather unfocused. I decided to head back inside where a tallish Asian guy that I vaguely recognize from HS came up to me and said that he and (this other person) were going to be on Hot 97. I asked if that was the rapper guy he hangs out with, and he said, "yes, but before we do that, we're gonna take some E!!!" and he turned around, arms triumphant to go into another room.

fin

Current Mood: sore

So I was getting out of a Tae Kwon Do trip, but for some reason I was in PA, in some weird cross of Hawley and Montreal, Canada. My parents came up to pick me up with both my brothers, but they were a little lost. So I rollerbladed out to where they were supposed to be, as they zoomed past me. They had to leave town to be able to get back to where I was before. I kept chasing, though, rolling past a black wolf that was clearly dead and leathered, more or less posted in front of a family's campsite (which was in the middle of town, for some reason). Eventually they called me and said they had figured out where they needed to be, so I should go there. So I 'bladed back, past the wolf again and down through an industrial loading area when I woke up.

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: Phish - Jesus Just Left Chicago

Lunacon was excellent! Got to have fun with people I know, and got to know others better. Big dick jokes abounded in the evening. We played Katamari in the pool.

s00j was her mellifluous self.

shoujo_mallet was excellent in all ways. The few panels I went to were good. My $5 cup was under utilized, as expected, but what is one to do with so many party options? Thanks to all the party makers and party havers!

Edit: For proper name dropping fun, check out this entry from dear Rose.

Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: Tony Toni Ton - Skin Tight

I need to sleep more and more often. Not getting enough messes up my self-image to an extreme degree. If you've ever seen me inconsolable with negativity, you've likely seen me sleep-deprived. And yet I'm going to Lunacon this weekend. No one ever went broke betting against the wisdom of my decisions.

Current Mood: sleepy

What do you do for a quick self-esteem pick-me-up?

The easy answer is, "What you're good at," but if you need such a thing, you have no idea/faith in what you're supposed to be good at. (Or, even worse, that what you're "good" at is too trivially easy to be a skill/talent/je-ne-sais-quoi worth mentioning, after all, if you can do it, can't everyone?)

Current Mood: blah

I greatly enjoyed the Dresden Files Premiere, and I especially enjoyed watching it with

rosefox,

sinboy, the ever-lovin' and ever-present

shoujo_mallet, as well as the roommate Chris, Bonnie, her girlfriend Rachel, and

last_soldier. Tasty snacks were available, so it didn't matter that I forgot to grab dinner.

I found that

jimbutcher's world was accurately translated, and while I was initially taken aback at the negativity between Bob and Harry, it resolved itself into its usual playful banter. Some of the character changes were a little unsettling probably because most of the non-Harry characters didn't get enough screen time to "prove" themselves.

The episode was somewhat formulaic and predictable, and I find that Harry was too quick to form emotional ties (although this is normal for him from the books), and too slow to do magic. I think he did one spell in the entire episode, maybe. And it wasn't even his usual "evocative" game.

I'll still watch, but I'm expecting a bit more from the series as it progresses.

In addition, not the best "first" episode pick, very little exposition, so we're dropped into a very big and confusing world without a lot of bearings.

I know that the end of this "review" makes it sound like I didn't enjoy it, which is wrong (see first paragraphs). Rather, I think that it's a rather promising series, and I can't wait to see the possible heights, but unfortunately, it can easily go in the toilet from here, and I'd hate to see that.

That was an interesting experiment. Looks like my hypothesis was correct. Time for theory.

Current Mood: calm

A great explination of what the Loudness Wars are doing to music. Remember to scroll to the bottom to see what it would look like if the same thing happened to the art world.

I think I should start keeping a little journal book because I think of things I want to put on LJ on the train (while I'm reading about TCP/IP) and I never remember what they are.

Current Mood: mellow

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"Like a graveyard...

... people dig me"

Entries tagged with braindump

Ich bin ein Brooklyner

On Arisia

Night proposals

www.marriedtothesea.com

I think it's a rat

Light saber

Hey, why haven't you been posting?

On a failure to post

Post-mortem on a gathering!

On Community

On social "strategies"

Heidelberg on a Sunday

Dreamlog: party

Dreamlog: Getting picked up by my parents

Lunacon 50

RE: 50¢ down the drain

Question of today

Dresden Files Premiere

Electronic Initiative and Accessibility

sound and noise, text and ink