On Community

[xoder]

So I was reading this Digg post about Ahmadinejad saying that there are no homosexuals in Iran. There was the predictable "Check the closets" line, and some rumblings about Tom Cruise and mass murder. Of note, however, was the following exchange^*:

In America - we just ignore their rights

Jesus, you're dense. America ignores gay rights? We have hate crime laws that apply to gay people. We have a huge gay population which vehemently lobbies and pushes for gay rights. We have gay people on tv, in the movies, everywhere and they aren't being oppressed. Just because they can't "legally" be married doesn't mean their rights are ignored. I'd be willing to be that any gay person in Iran would happily trade places, with any gay American. If you really think it's bad here, go to Iran and see what it's like to have no rights based on sexual preference.

You people will say/state anything that takes a jab at America yet we have it so good, regardless of what you think. If you think I'm wrong then why does everyone want to come here? As cliche as it sounds this is the land of freedom, in all forms, and also the land of opportunity. Go open a gay support group (non-profit) in Iran and tell me what happens. They'll probably just kill you, but at least you'd be free of American oppression....your comment and those who digg you up is proof that most Americans have no appreciation or idea on how good they have it. Well, some of us do and we don't take it for granted.

YEAH. FUCKING. RIGHT.

I work in a corporation. I am white, hetero, and single. I have no special interest group that gives a shit about me. There's a gay/lesbian group, african american group, latino, etc.

Along with the aforementioned hate crime legislature, it seems minorities, including gays, have grabbed special rights, not equal rights. Granted I am not as likely to be effed-in-the-a by a cop, I am more likely to be should I end up in court.

THANK YOU, POLITICALLY CORRECT AMERICA!

Oh yeah, you poor dear. My heart bleeds for the rich white men; there is no justice for them. Why don't you go arrange a straight white man pride parade? Oh yeah- you don't have to because you have everything already.

I think the last poster in the thread misses the penultimate poster's complaint entirely. He says "I have no special interest group that gives a shit about me." The reply is "you have everything" so why should you? The key difference here is the penultimate poster wanted a group, while the last poster wants things/rights/justice. Maybe I'm completely off-base here, but I often envy my GBLT friends for their ability to draw a community out of [what appears to me to be] thin air [but is likely out of shared repression &c.].

The penultimate poster also mentions all of this second to "I work in a corporation." The irony there is, he does have a group of people like him working toward a common goal, but this goal is not community, not rights, not justice, but money—which our dear poster will never see his proportional share of. If he works extra hard he might get a promotion, but he'll more likely just get his slightly-lower-than inflation "merit" raise. If he even has a track for promotion, his most likely community, his co-workers, are in direct competition with him for those precious few seats at the top, and will not be there for him as a community.

Perhaps I am very much the poor little rich boy that the last poster mocks, but I can understand the penultimate poster's issue, and I'm afraid I don't have much of a solution out of it. Personally, I ape at the Queer community through my Bi girlfriend and Poly lifestyle, and while I enjoy friends through Tae Kwon Do, often I feel a certain disconnect from them. Often the only thing I have in common with them is the Art, which is fine and all, but I like a certain level of social discourse and connection.

Of course, in the end, we are all alone in our trip through life, and perhaps all this striving towards community is false and silly and temporary. But if it has to be false and silly and temporary, I at least want to get some good hugs out of it.

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^* I nested two comments where I believed they went as I believe they were unintentionally posted unnested thanks to what many Diggers complain of as "The New Comment System". Also, I'm lazy and deleted their usernames.

Comments

[shoujo-mallet.livejournal.com]

Part of me often feels there needs to be a special interest group for white men (WM) of generic Caucasian descent because the phrase "you have everything" is pretty much their description. The ability of a WM to define himself as a WM is increasingly limited. That is, it seems hard to ask the question, "Who should I be as a WM?" with out get stuck into fear that doing so is somehow being offensive to racial minorities or women. So, it appears white male identity branches off into other areas, like ethnicity, lifestyle or profession--making being white seem almost neutral, when it carries with it as many stereotypes, history and biology as any other race. I mean, to say "I'm proud to be gay" or "I'm proud to be black" is quite accepted. To say, "I'm proud to be white" sounds like you're joining a supremacy group. Although having pride, in my mind, is really about self-respect and, by that merit, acceptance. Ah, the myriad of things we're gifted with at birth.

The whole thing reminds a lot of the plight of fathers to be recognized as potentially equals with mothers in children's lives and to have legal rights that reflect that.

And I'm going to say yes, as female and bisexual I have experienced special privileges that would not have been offered to a WM of my same age, education and socioeconomic class. At the same time, I've been physically and verbally assaulted because of my gender and sexuality. [Although, I've also had that pleasure thanks to my ethnicity, race and physical appearance as well.]

I don't know. I love you. Not because you're a guy, not because you're straight and not because you're white. I love you because you're Peter, a wonderful human.

[xoder.livejournal.com]

And I'm going to say yes, as female and bisexual I have experienced special privileges that would not have been offered to a WM of my same age, education and socioeconomic class. At the same time, I've been physically and verbally assaulted because of my gender and sexuality. [Although, I've also had that pleasure thanks to my ethnicity, race and physical appearance as well.]

And I've received special privileges for no reason at all, and the same with physical and emotional abuse.

So, the question is, does the reason matter?

[rainbowboicmu.livejournal.com]

In a way, previously repressed groups always band together, and can demand more, specific rights for them. Like it or not, the gays form a special interest groups, and we want very specific things for ourselves.

I think of hate crime laws as a sort of evening out the game. I don't even mind if it's special rights. If we're especially persecuted, then damnit I'm asking for special rights to protect me.

[xoder.livejournal.com]

I want to make it clear, I am for hate crimes legislation for the reason you state there: gays are at risk from (certain segments of) the straight population. And they shouldn't be—and neither should anyone else be at risk from anyone else.

[rainbowboicmu.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

Fortunately I'm not at risk from you <3

[faboo.livejournal.com]

what "the queer community" generally refers to is an interest group and political lobby. calling it a community is like calling a night club a party.

I've always found it an insult to my intelligence when people refer to "the [minority] community". fuck, it's not like everyone of us all frequents the same bar, sitting around crocheting bucket hats and chatting about last night's episode of Nova. I'm not even sure I'm aware of the minority status of most of the people I know.

but then, being a queer white male is sort of like being bisexual twice, so I guess I could be missing something, but there certainly doesn't seem to be an lobby looking out for my interests.