"so much"? maybe. not love? I was thinking about this today. the only thing I could decide I knew was true was that to be loved is the thing I want when I want nothing else. when I turn out the lights, and am so near sleep I can no longer hurt of anything, I want to be loved. while I sleep, I dream about people and things that love me too. in the morning, after I've come, I roll over in hopes of finding someone there that loves me. when I can remember nothing else - too tired, too pained, or too drunk - I still remember the want to be loved.
is that "so much", I don't know. maybe it's because to be lonely is the worst of all emotions, and so I look for love, in the hope that I will never feel lonely again. that may be. or perhaps it's an arrogant need to have other people think the same things I do; to find the same things true that I do; that I must be right, and how dare other people think differently. I won't assert that I'm above that.
but it is love, so far as I know it, that I want "so much".
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branchandroot
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Date: 2002-10-06 05:01 pm (UTC)the only thing I could decide I knew was true was that to be loved is the thing I want when I want nothing else. when I turn out the lights, and am so near sleep I can no longer hurt of anything, I want to be loved. while I sleep, I dream about people and things that love me too. in the morning, after I've come, I roll over in hopes of finding someone there that loves me. when I can remember nothing else - too tired, too pained, or too drunk - I still remember the want to be loved.
is that "so much", I don't know. maybe it's because to be lonely is the worst of all emotions, and so I look for love, in the hope that I will never feel lonely again. that may be. or perhaps it's an arrogant need to have other people think the same things I do; to find the same things true that I do; that I must be right, and how dare other people think differently. I won't assert that I'm above that.
but it is love, so far as I know it, that I want "so much".