Did you know that I'm stupid?

[xoder]

In my last post I said something which hurt someone. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I truly am sorry for it. You wanted so much more from me than my body, and that's a good thing. I was talking about how it would be nice to try the exclusive wanting of my body. Just for a little bit, for a little fun (and maybe it wouldn't be fun, but at least I'd find that out for myself).

I think its a bad sign when your own father tells you to get a life. I thought I actually had friends up here and I spent time with them. I thougth I went out and did things with people. I guess I don't. I guess I'm just a hermit who does nothing but sit at the computer typing up useless messages over AIM and LJ to people who he deludes himself to be his friends. In reality, what are they? Mostly people who pity his friendless existance and are willing to lend an ear to make him feel better.
What is it he wants me to do? Go out and get drunk and laid? Is that the social life he wants? No. He's told me as much.

So what do I want? I want friends. I have them. I want a romantic relationship. I'm waiting for spring quarter to pursue that (you know what they say about springtime...).
So what does it matter that I don't go out all day and night? Why should anyone care? Y'all have your own problems to deal with, don't go inventing mine!

PETER

P.S. Sorry for not posting yesterday, I was busy.

Comments

"I want a romantic relationship"

[codepoet.livejournal.com]

I've given up on that for now.

The RIT "taken, deaf or not interested in boys" mentality seems to have finally hit me. So I'm officially "interested" in no one now.