how does the answering public become so certain that the poster is female and is being told by males to smile?
Because the speaker signs with the name "sephira" and refers to her coworkers as "guys." That'd do it for me. Wouldn't make me 100% certain, but certain enough to assume it and then go from there.
But yeah, it's a stereotypical comment from men to women in an office environment that belittles the woman.
I am consuming a resource (looking at an attractive person)
Good looks are a renewable resource. You do not use them up and make the person less good-looking by the act of looking at them. If you feel guilty, you could try smiling back at the person when they catch you staring, hopefully increasing their happiness quotient in return.
Or if you wanted to say something, how's about "you look like a nice person." Women who aren't fixated on their looks prefer to be told they're good people over being told that they're good-looking. It also seems less like sexual harassment if you really think that's highly likely.
I would rather be noticed for my brains than for my looks. If someone always told me they thought I looked pretty, I'd be upset that they were so shallow and not caring WHO was wearing that pretty clothing, or that they were shallowly caring about aspects of my physical appearance that I have no control over. As a woman I feel a little more free to compliment women on their looks, but whenever I consciously think about it I phrase it as complimenting their choice of clothing, and therefore complimenting their judgement, rather than simply their physical appearance.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2006-11-10 12:32 am (UTC)Because the speaker signs with the name "sephira" and refers to her coworkers as "guys." That'd do it for me. Wouldn't make me 100% certain, but certain enough to assume it and then go from there.
But yeah, it's a stereotypical comment from men to women in an office environment that belittles the woman.
I am consuming a resource (looking at an attractive person)
Good looks are a renewable resource. You do not use them up and make the person less good-looking by the act of looking at them. If you feel guilty, you could try smiling back at the person when they catch you staring, hopefully increasing their happiness quotient in return.
Or if you wanted to say something, how's about "you look like a nice person." Women who aren't fixated on their looks prefer to be told they're good people over being told that they're good-looking. It also seems less like sexual harassment if you really think that's highly likely.
I would rather be noticed for my brains than for my looks. If someone always told me they thought I looked pretty, I'd be upset that they were so shallow and not caring WHO was wearing that pretty clothing, or that they were shallowly caring about aspects of my physical appearance that I have no control over. As a woman I feel a little more free to compliment women on their looks, but whenever I consciously think about it I phrase it as complimenting their choice of clothing, and therefore complimenting their judgement, rather than simply their physical appearance.